- Church Parking Lot Sign: “FOR MEMBERS ONLY. Trespassers will be baptized.”
- “No God-No Peace… Know God-Know Peace.”
- “Free Trip to Heaven… Details Inside!”
- Try out Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.”
- “Wanting for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!”
- An ad for one church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast relief, take two tablets.”
- When the restaurant next to a church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the church reciprocated with its own message: “We are open on Sundays, too.”
- A singing group called “The Resurrection” was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, “Resurrection is postponed.”
- People are like tea bags-you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
- “God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.”
- “Come in and pray today. Beat the Christian rush!”
- “When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right.”
- “Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.”
- “Right truth decay-study the Bible daily.”
- How will you spend eternity-Smoking or Non-smoking?”
- “Dusty Bible leads to Dirty Lives.”
- “Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.”
- “It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.”
- “Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.”
- “If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.”
- “If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.”
- “Looking at the way some people love, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”
- “This is a Ch_ _ch. What is missing?” (U R)
- “Forbidden fruit creates many jams.”
- “In the dark? Follow the Son.”
- “Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.”
- “If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.”
- If you pause to think– You’ll have cause to thank!
- As sure as God puts his children in the furnace, He will be in the furnace with them.
- God won’t be looking for your medals, degrees or diplomas–, He’ll be looking for your scars.
- Give God what’s right–, not what’s left!
- Trade God your pieces for His peace.
- When you get tired talking to your friends about God–, talk to God about your friends.
- It’s hard to stumble when you’re on your knees.
- “Will the road you’re on get you to my place?”….God
- ‘Pray’ is a four letter word that you can say anywhere (except in a public school).
- Make your eternal reservations now— ‘smoking’ or ‘non-smoking’?
- Jesus built us a bridge, with 2 boards and 3 nails.
- Count your blessings! Recounts are OK—
- Don’t be God’s weakest link!
- It’s not the outlook– it’s the up look that counts!
- He who sows sparingly will reap sparingly.
- They see our methods, He sees our motives.
- Plenty of folks give the Lord credit– few give Him cash!
- Finding hell is easy ! It’s at the end of a ‘Christ-less’ life.
- The greatest of evils is our indifference towards evil!
- If you cheat on the test, don’t thank the Lord for the “A”.
- Count your blessings, not your problems.
- If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep; talk to the Shepherd.
- Good old knee-ology is as good as some theology.
- A good place for the “buck to stop” is at the collection plate.
- In this life it’s not what you have but Who you have that counts!
- A hypocrite is a person who’s not himself on Sunday.
- Money is a great servant but a terrible master!
- God gives every bird its’ food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
- He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.
- God made round faces; man makes ‘em long.
- Honesty is not only the best policy; it is the will of GOD!
- What does it take for God to get our attention?
- There are many things in my life for which I am ashamed, but Jesus is not one of them.
- You can’t walk with God and hold hands with Satan at the same time.
- Faith is a journey, not a destination.
- Jesus never taught how to preach— only how to pray.
- Jesus declared the truth; He never gave opinions.
- When was the last time you told God you love Him? He is still listening.
- We are as full of the Holy Spirit as we want to be.
- We need to seek God Himself more than His gifts.
- We become like what we worship.
- Sin will keep you from the Bible but the Bible can keep you from sin.
- Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.
- A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit….Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. Mat 7:18&20NIV
- The Bread of life never gets stale.
- Knowledge puffs you up– Love lifts you up.
- Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.
- For all you do, His blood’s for you!
- Big Bang theory– God spoke and “Bang!” It happened–
- Christians aren’t perfect– Just forgiven.
- “I’m a fool for Christ– Who’s fool are you?”
- Would you rather trust a guy who wrote a book— or the One who wrote The Book?
- Into each life a little rain must fall– Who’s your umbrella?
- T.G.I.F.– Thank God I’m Forgiven
