T’was the Night of Thanksgiving

T’was the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn’t sleep
... I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.

The leftovers beckoned, the dark and white
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation
The thought of a snack became infatuation.

So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plumb and so round,
‘Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.

I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.

But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees-
“HAPPY EATING TO ALL, PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE”

May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump
May your potatoes ‘n gravy has nary a lump
May your yams be delicious, may your pies take the prize
May your Thanksgiving dinner STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS!

Priceless! God's Wife IT WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF   I especially liked number 5! Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once Talked about a contest he was asked to judge.  The purpose of the Contest was to find the most caring child.     The winner was: 1.  A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old Gentleman's' yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.    When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, 'Nothing, I just Helped him cry.' ********************************************* 2.  Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color than the other members. One of her students suggested that he was adopted.    A little girl said, 'I know all about Adoption, I was adopted..'    'What does it mean to be adopted?', asked   another child. 'It means', said the girl, 'that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!' 3.   On my way home one day, I stopped to watch a Little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first- base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was     'We're behind 14 to nothing,' he answered  With a smile.   'Really,' I said. 'I have to say you don't look very discouraged.'   'Discouraged?', the boy asked with a Puzzled look on his face... 'Why should we be discouraged? We haven't Been up to bat yet.' 4. Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott.     Jamie was trying out for a part in the school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen..        On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement..  'Guess what, Mom,' he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me....'I've been chosen to clap and cheer.' 5.   An eye witness account from  New York City , on a cold day in December,  some years ago: A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering With cold.    A lady approached the young boy and said,   'My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!' 'I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,'was the boy's reply.    The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.  By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks.. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes..   She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, 'No doubt, you will be more comfortable now..' As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her.   'Are you God's wife?' ********************************************************************* Shared by Corinne Mustafa

Fun Christian Sayings

• Church Parking Lot Sign: “FOR MEMBERS ONLY. Trespassers will be baptized.”
• “No God-No Peace… Know God-Know Peace.”

• “Free Trip to Heaven… Details Inside!”
• Try out Sundays.  They are better than Baskin-Robbins.”
• “Wanting for a new look?  Have your faith lifted here!”
• An ad for one church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast relief, take two tablets.”
• When the restaurant next to a church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the church reciprocated with its own message: “We are open on Sundays, too.”
• A singing group called “The Resurrection” was scheduled to sing at a church.  When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, “Resurrection is postponed.”
• People are like tea bags-you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
• “God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.”
• “Come in and pray today.  Beat the Christian rush!”
• “When down in the mouth, remember Jonah.  He came out all right.”
• “Sign broken.  Message inside this Sunday.”
• “Right truth decay-study the Bible daily.”
• How will you spend eternity-Smoking or Non-smoking?”
• “Dusty Bible leads to Dirty Lives.”
• “Come work for the Lord.  The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low.  But the retirement benefits are out of this world.”
• “It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.”
• “Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.”
• “If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.”
• “If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.”
• “Looking at the way some people love, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”
• “This is a Ch_ _ch.  What is missing?” (U R)
• “Forbidden fruit creates many jams.”
• “In the dark?  Follow the Son.”
• “Running low on faith?  Stop in for a fill-up.”
• “If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep.  Talk to the Shepherd.”
• If you pause to think– You’ll have cause to thank!
• As sure as God puts his children in the furnace, He will be in the furnace with them.
• God won’t be looking for your medals, degrees or diplomas–, He’ll be looking for your scars.
• Give God what’s right–, not what’s left!
• Trade God your pieces for His peace.
• When you get tired talking to your friends about God–, talk to God about your friends.
• It’s hard to stumble when you’re on your knees.
• “Will the road you’re on get you to my place?”….God
• ‘Pray’ is a four letter word that you can say anywhere (except in a public school).
• Make your eternal reservations now— ‘smoking’ or ‘non-smoking’?
• Jesus built us a bridge, with 2 boards and 3 nails.
• Count your blessings! Recounts are OK—
• Don’t be God’s weakest link!
  • It’s not the outlook– it’s the up look that counts!
  • He who sows sparingly will reap sparingly.

• They see our methods, He sees our motives.
• Plenty of folks give the Lord credit– few give Him cash!
• Finding hell is easy ! It’s at the end of a ‘Christ-less’ life.
• The greatest of evils is our indifference towards evil!
• If you cheat on the test, don’t thank the Lord for the “A”.
• Count your blessings, not your problems.
• If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep; talk to the Shepherd.
• Good old knee-ology is as good as some theology.
• A good place for the “buck to stop” is at the collection plate.
• In this life it’s not what you have but Who you have that counts!
• A hypocrite is a person who’s not himself on Sunday.
• Money is a great servant but a terrible master!
• God gives every bird its’ food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
• He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.
• God made round faces; man makes ‘em long.
• Honesty is not only the best policy; it is the will of GOD!
• What does it take for God to get our attention?
• There are many things in my life for which I am ashamed, but Jesus is not one of them.
• You can’t walk with God and hold hands with Satan at the same time.
• Faith is a journey, not a destination.
• Jesus never taught how to preach— only how to pray.
• Jesus declared the truth; He never gave opinions.
• When was the last time you told God you love Him? He is still listening.
• We are as full of the Holy Spirit as we want to be.
• We need to seek God Himself more than His gifts.
• We become like what we worship.
• Sin will keep you from the Bible but the Bible can keep you from sin.
• Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.
• A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit….Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. Mat 7:18&20NIV
• The Bread of life never gets stale.
• Knowledge puffs you up– Love lifts you up.
• Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.
• For all you do, His blood’s for you!
• Big Bang theory– God spoke and “Bang!”  It happened–
• Christians aren’t perfect– Just forgiven.
• “I’m a fool for Christ– Who’s fool are you?”
• Would you rather trust a guy who wrote a book— or the One who wrote The Book?

• Into each life a little rain must fall– Who’s your umbrella?
• T.G.I.F.– Thank God I’m Forgiven

Why go to Church?

If you'respiritually alive, you're going to love this! If you'respiritually dead, you won't want to read it. If you'respiritually curious, there is still hope!

Why Go To Church?

A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher:

"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this.. They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!" When you are DOWN to nothing...God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

The Resume of Jesus Christ

Address: Ephesians 1:20
Phone:Romans 10:13
Website:The Bible. Keywords: Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus

Hello. My name isJesus -The Christ. Many call me Lord! I've sent you my resume because I'm seekingthe top managementposition in your heart.  Please consider my accomplishments as set forth in my resume.

Qualifications
·  I founded the earth and established the heavens,
   (See Proverbs 3:19)
·   I formed man from the dust of the ground,
   (See Genesis 2:7)
·   I breathed into man the breath of life,
   (See Genesis 2:7)
·   I redeemed man from the curse of the law,
   (See Galatians 3:13)
·   The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upon your life through me, (See Galatians 3:14)

Occupational Background
·   I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49). 
·   I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
·   My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me,(See Matthew 3:15-17)

Skills Work Experiences
·   Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18).
·   I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33).
·   Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins, (See I John 1:7-9)

Educational Background·   I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6).
·   In me are hid all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See Colossians 2:3).
·   My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105).
·   I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21).

Major Accomplishments·   I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times, (See Genesis 1:26).
·   I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15).
·   I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly, (See Colossians 2:15).
·   I've miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!
·   There are many more major accomplishments, to many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.

References
·   Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance

In Summation
Now that you've read my resume, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47). When can I start? Time is of the essence, (See Hebrews 3:15).

May God bless you!

Shared by Corinne Mustafa

A CHRISTIAN GARDEN

1)      Plant 4 rows of peas:

Presence

Preparedness

perseverance

Promptness

2)      Next plant 3 rows of Squash

Squash gossip

Squash criticism

Squash indifference

3)      Now put in 3 rows of lettuce

Let us be faithful

Let us obey rules and regulations

Let us love one another

4)      No garden is complete without turnips

Turn up for meetings

Turn up with a smile

Turn up with new ideas

Turn up with determination to make everything

Count for something good and worthwhile

Turn up on time

I don’t know where I got this so I cannot give credit to anyone.
Shared by Jackie Gilmer

Deck of Cards

Here is a new way to look at a deck of cards!!

Deck of Cards

It was quiet that day, the guns
and the mortars, and land mines
 for some reason hadn't been heard.

The young soldier knew
it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.

 

As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards 
and laid them out across his bunk.

Just then an army sergeant came in and said,

'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'

The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind

and spend some time with the Lord.'

The sergeant said,

'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'

The soldier said,

 'No, sir . You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles

or other spiritual books in this country,
I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.'

 

The sergeant asked in disbelief,

'How will you do that?'

'You see the Ace, Sergeant?

It reminds me that there is only one God.

The Two represents the two parts of the Bible,

 Old and New Testaments


The Three represents the Father, Son,
and the Holy Spirit.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels:

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John .

The Five is for the five virgins

there were ten but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days

 it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.


The Seven is for the day God rested

after making His Creation.


The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife,

their three sons and their wives --

the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.


The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy

He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.


The Ten represents the Ten Commandments

that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.


The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels,

but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways

and is now the joker of eternal hell.


The Queen stands for The Bride of Christ.


The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.


When I count the dots on all the cards,

I come up with 365 total,

one for every day of the year.


There are a total of 52 cards in a deck;

each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.


The four suits represent the four seasons:

Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.


Each suit has thirteen cards --

there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.


So when I want to talk to God and thank Him,

 I just pull out this old deck of cards

and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.'


The sergeant just stood there.

After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said,

'Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?'

Shared by

Corinne Mustafa