9/26/13
What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light;
and what you hear whispered in the ear, proclaim on the housetops.
In today’s
life of hustle bustle, where weekends are booked months in advance,
and where the social calendar carries
scribbles overflowing the margins. And this
is also where smart phones are synced with family members finding time to just
sit and talk about nothing is a fanciful wish…. Not even a dream, for who has the time to dream now? When not too
long ago was a time when many of us dared to day-dream.
I asked few friends what would they do if they were given a day to be
free and everyone had a list that had some common wishes such as read, garden,
go to park, walk, etc etc. If I were to be asked this question I would say I
will do absolutely nothing. I will find myself a small hillock, reach there at sunrise,
and stay there as long as I can. I will sit there for hours feeling the oneness
with nature and observing the majestic march
of the day.
As I near turning fifty, I have begun
to think less about the daily struggle and more about what awaits us all in the
end. Not death necessarily but thoughts such as,
what is really important, time spent
shopping or having coffee with a friend, time spent in endless senseless
parties or spent in introspection. It is quite a paradox that, as our bodies’ age and one might think we need
to rest more, our sleep switch gets messed up. I could sleep through the night
but it seems that the bladders and the prostates are self-programmed to nudge
everyone awake to drag the tired bodies out of the bed.
Then one lays there cajoling sleep to return
to the bed, but it evades us almost like a punitive lover.
So instead of lying in bed watching
the numbers in the digital clock face mutate, I would get up and
A small smile would part my lips naturally instead of the caffeine high
muscles pulling at them, and I would gaze at
the shadowy pockets of vegetation now emerging into view. The bushes are woven tight as thatch, the trees, eucalyptus,
oak and cherry looming above the bushes. As I would pass few houses, I might see the bright globes of lemons or
oranges gobbling at the dark competing for visibility with the splashes of pink
begonias. The shadows congeal as I start climbing eagerly anticipating the
isolation from human life and connecting with the nature life.
From my slight elevated post the walls of houses scattered at lower
levels look tall and mute, soft breeze swaying the treetops, as if shooing the
birds fully awake. They
stretch their wings lazily and glide into the crisp morning air. Out peeks the glorious sun from behind the hills, and the show is on. The bougainvillea over the
walls of a house wall appear to be twisting towards the sun in great puffed up
balls of leaf and thorn and flame red flowers.
Maybe I can see pair of cars pinked by the morning sun roll silently, and slowly the lights in the few kitchen windows
go out, Like the
birds humans also leave their nest in search of daily bread. If anyone were to
ask what am I looking for my answer would be
introspection. Connection, some sort of insight into lives, lived equally with
my own and pain, the sort of pain and trauma that define and delimits any life
on this earth. Maybe I will find it, or
maybe I will just keep gazing and marveling at the ebullient life all around
me. As the day will unfold I may discover simple joys of letting my eyes soak
in the abundant beauty around me, let my nose smell faint fragrances that are
lost in the exhaust of gas and diesel, let my skin be softly touched by the
breeze and let my ears hear the crescendo of nature. My heart will sing, my
heart will soar. and my mind will idle like a car put in neutral, ready to roar
and drive off on a freeway of free thoughts.
I will sit
there giddy with happiness, the kind of happiness akin to watching a tipped
over basket of playful kittens. I will do nothing and truly idle the day
away….what would you do?
Written by
Nandita Bhatnagar
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